5 Tips To Survive Ultra Music Festival

Last year was crazy as hell as I attended UMF and a few other parties that weekend.

Although it was a pure haze of experience through the weekend, I learned a few things along the way that I think will be helpful if it’s your first time going to Ultra Music Festival.

Some of the things that happened are comedy gold while other things will be really helpful to know.

Check it…

Be Careful What You Drink

Me and my friend Anthony went down to Ultra last year and had a blast. The only problem is that we didn’t bring enough money so we had to split drinks between us.

Running out of beer sucked and the worst part was that water was ridiculously over priced.

It ended up being Ant and I passing a water bottle back and forth whenever we bought one but there was one problem: Ant didn’t tell me he had bronchitis.

So, after drinking after him all weekend I returned home with a horrible cough and felt dog shit awful.

To make the matters worse, I some how got pink eye. So there I was going into work, exhausted, dying and my eyes were pink and closed shut from gunk. Yeah, they sent me home.

Always Pick Up Strange People

Despite what your mom told me, we ended up picking up random people along the way to help them get around.

The first was a guy from Philly that we found in the middle of a cracked out neighborhood. We were trying to find our way to the next club after the first day of Ultra and stopped to ask a security guard. When he didn’t prove helpful, the dude ran over and said he was looking for the place too.

I said hop in and off we went.

We later found out he sold bongs and pipes. Cool.

Later on after we left the venue, there was some dude that got ditched by his friends. Without a ride back to his hotel, Ant and I felt like in the helping mood (probably because of the effects of…nevermind) and decided to drive around Miami, looking for this guy’s hotel.

We ended up driving around Miami for about 2 hours which was pretty cool. We listened to the dude’s mixtape – drum and bass.

Lesson learned? There are a lot of cool people during UMF, pick em up!

When we finally found his hotel we dropped him off and went on our merry way – the wrong direction down a one way lane.

VIP Isn’t Worth It

During the second day of Ultra we were beginning to get a little ballsy and decided to sneak into the VIP area.

As a group walked up to go inside, the bouncer opened the gates and we jumped behind the people. We proceeded to talk loudly as if we were apart of the group and in we went.

Walking around the area I have to admit it was pretty nice, it wasn’t nearly as packed as in the open area.

The only problem was that the people there sucked. They were literally sleeping.

Besides the lack of enthusiasm from the people in the VIP area, they still sold booze and water for full price. You paid all that money and you didn’t even get a discounted rate?!

Miami Traffic Sucks

As Ultra let out it became pure mayhem.

We got back into our car and decided to head over to an after party. If I knew then that I’d almost have a nervous breakdown I would have suggested to wait for the crowd to die down a bit.

We were stuck in traffic. Not just traffic, gridlock.

People would run the red lights so when you had the green, you’d be stuck in the same spot. It literally took 15 minutes to go each block.

To make the matters worse, we were on a 2 lane strip with high walls when a fire truck pulled up behind us. Try cramming 2 lanes of cars into one without any sidewalk or median to get over to.

I almost lost my shit.

Sneak In What You Can

Down the road are tons of liquor stores.

Because Ultra charges such a high rate for alcohol (I think a shot of vodka was about $8!) we decided to sneak some in.

I decided to go with the old baggy pants and stuffing my shoes method while Ant went with the classic “under the balls” trick.

We got in with about 10 mini shots of vodka and whiskey each, saving us about $100 for that night.

Tip: They do pat you down but not thoroughly, just put them in areas they aren’t going to touch like your crotch or shoes.

Long story short, we had a blast, ‘cept Ant was tasting balls for the rest of the night.

Bonus Tip/Suggestion

Be prepared to pay out the asshole for just about everything.

Parking is usually $40 if you want to park really close to the area. If at all possible, grab a hotel that’s close and cab it.

Speaking of hotels, if you drive about 30 mins north of Miami, you’ll be able to find hotels for about $50 a night. If you time it right, you can check in just as they start the next day, so it feels like you got 2 nights for 1.

Final tip: Don’t be an idiot. There are tons of people walking around trying to sell stuff, a lot of narcs, a lot of bunk.

See You At Ultra This Year!

This year we are going at it in full force. We’re coming down with a huge group, renting a car, getting a hotel and meeting up with other groups of friends we know.

If this is your first time, be prepared for a wild night out, it’s massive.

Just use some of these tips and you should be able to survive UMF.

See you out there!

What are your tips on how to survive Ultra Music Festival?